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[27 Apr 2005|10:21pm] |
Its time to say farwell to this journal,
i think im just gonna make one and keep it just for me.
Sorry everyone. My life isnt important to most of you anyway.
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| Time to fucking vent it, so you better believe im gonna let you fuckers have it. |
[08 Mar 2005|12:16am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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I think february is the shittiest month ever. If this february was a girl, id stab her in the face and throw her in a ditch.
Yeah, i quit contra. Cause i wanted to be in a band with my hommie. And as a band he was kicked out. So i quit.
That is my fucking reason. Fuck a petition, fuck the shit talking, fuck the drama.
Integrity is questioned tonight. How dumb do you think i am?
How many of you think i would betray a friendship for something as petty as me being out of a band.
I aint talking shit about nobody. If i had a problem with you, youve heard from me already.
I dont deal with internet shit talking, aint my field there Brother.
Think what you want, if your with me, then your with me.
If you decided to go against me, then your agaisnt me.
And fuck you.
I havent drawn any fucking lines between ANY of my friendships.
I cut someone dead weight in my life. But then again, that person fucked up.
That persons fault.
But in my most trusted group of friends, YOU are still there jake.
Now im gonna get into my feelings on things happenening around me.
Jake, where the hell are you? No call, no chill sessions.
All of a sudden i read LIVE JOURNAl, and find out im a tradior?
Thats really, really the worst ive ever read from YOU.
Thats almost bad as someone getting kicked out of a band over myspace.
Jake McCarty you are my fucking hommie. DO NOT GET ME WRONG.
I dont want to be a thorn in your side, or and enemy of you. At the same time,
i dont want to be on the backburner. I Was there for you to back in the day also.
Whatever you hear or think, dont believe it. COME TO FUCKING ME, and i will answer any question you got for me.
As other aspects of my life seem to be fleeing my life. I started thinking to myself, what will be the next fucked up thing that will happen to me today? Oh jeez, nothing could be worse than having your brakes go out doing 50 into a red light on victoria and olivas right? Id rather take the car wreck man. I DESTROYED my tires, i need new brakes, new battery because it flew out of its stand in the truck.
On top of that, new exuast, AGAIN. And i got another fucking ticket!!!!
People are gonna get stabbed in the face with hockey sticks this thursday.
Ladies and gentlemen, two words.
xKnuckle Puckx
muthafucka.
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| Inside yourself |
[19 Feb 2005|10:41pm] |
I think i have lost a friend of mine,
i hope that i havent lost you.
I havent talked to you in forever, in person anyway.
I know you think or used to think i hated you. I don't.
I Never did, i hope you'd never think that.
PLEASE call me soon, so we can talk.
You know who you are.
BFF.
xoxo
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| we are slowly dying |
[29 Jan 2005|07:02pm] |
Tonight should be interesting,
No plans. About 40 bux in my pocket,
Tj tomorow. Never been. So this out to be good.
I'm also looking forward to what Contra has lined up.
I definatly like the idea of putting out a 7 inch.
Also having a kick ass budget. With figures un-heard of for us.
The best part about it is richard cant talk about it.
So i can't really talk about it either, but i could tell you all that i guess.
Couple of things have been on my mind since last night, well its been a couple of days.
Every time i actually think about it, it brings back old old old shit.
And every time i really, really think about it,
it feels like a gun shot between my eyes.
Hard to swallow mistakes about my past, but i try so hard.
Then i remember this time in my life where i didnt care, about me, or anything i thought i loved.
I remember walking around my neighboorhood late at night by myself,
just walking looking for something, i didnt even really know what,
and at times i remember the smell of a ciggerette that i stuck a light to
the smell was so strong that the aroma almost made me dizzy,
but that smell kept me happy.
I swear sometimes life sounds like a slow song on repeat to me.
Everything feels like im walking in a movie. Even right now.
Jesus i should even think about this crap.
Sometimes i think were made to suffer though others bullshit.
I become a limb of weight, a pillow for this....
fuck.
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| Feel this in your bones. |
[28 Jan 2005|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
Alright these days have been quite a scene. What a great way to start the new year.
I hate thinking about the past. The past makes you regret. Regret makes you do dumb things.
I could say i fucked up a lot these past 3 years. I could also say that things could have
changed in a lot of ways. And i guess im lucky to find myself where im at today.
Bottom line, i love my friends. We talk a lot of shit sometimes around each other
but at the end of the day were still friends. You know how you have a good friend, when you
can just call them and hang out, whenever, just call, even if its been months or years.
Thats when you know you got true hommies. No matter what you do or where you go, they're there.
So i almost got in a car accident two days ago, turns out the frame of the front axel in my
dads "company car" decided it was gonna break. In the words of my dads friend who is a machinic,
"shit like that doesnt just happen." In other words a brand new car + frame breaking = Someone tampering
with my dads car.
All i got to say is i don't think people who work with my dad arn't gonna live to see next month.
In other words lady's in gentlemen,
there is going to be bloodshed.
With that said. Contra just recorded a new 3 song cd. Its great and i love it so much. Haha when i get a chance to post them i will. For all you former haters of contra, it sounds nothing like our old demo, and we recorded the intro.
Hah, almost forgot, some guy at a gas station gave me shit for my hat,
"My daddy fought in two forign wars fighting communist, your a discrace to americans."
I simply replied,
"Fuck your daddy."
He tried to make a big scene, but in the end he just got back in his car while these hommies where just sitting laughing at him because i was still talking shit to him.
Great couple o days.
<3
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| Tornado and flash flood warnings will earn you no skittles. |
[10 Jan 2005|09:19am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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Wow. Tornado in oxnard. Some chitty stuff maan. Real Chitty. I hope all of you are ok and not anywhere near that thing. Just by going by what info i got from my mom and sara. Life sucks for you if you live in el rio right now. Stay safe fuckers. So on about this past show.
I think it went pretty well. I can't tell you what a smile it put on my face to see everyone singing along. I'ts a feeling indiscribible. (I can't spell and im too lazy for spell check) Thanks everyone who has supported us from day fucking one. On another note. Contra's new C'd demo is on the way so get ready to toss the old ones. This shit is gonna be great. Same Person and same place the warriors got there demo recorded. Should be intense.
So saturday we got the great idea that everyone should take the van and go gamble at chumash casino. Oh man. Me and MY nigga Richard got down to buisness before we even left and started drinking vodka and cranberry juice. Oh man so good. Anyway, kevin picks us all up (all 13 of us) And we Mob it to the casino. The ride there was sketch as fuck. The windshield wiper decided to take a shit and cacked out. And the van started to hydroplane like a fat kid slidding on a slip and slide. We got there and immediatly me and kev hit up the blackjack table and from 20 bucks i made 80. I felt fucking on top of the world. Mr brooks however made 100 out of his ten. I went back to the table and fucked up pretty bad. Then blew my money on the one armed sluts. Fuck dat.
On the ride back (Two Mixed drinks, One ice Cappicino, a cinimmin bun, bag of cheetos, and a lung full of menthol ciggerettes later) i got pretty fucking car sick and decided to throw up. Felt a million times better. Then do you ever get the feeling where you cant figure out if you have to poop or throw-up? Jesus i barley finished high school, and life throws me a stumper like that. Well i was bummed. let me tell you. FRIDAY: An awesome night. Hanging out with everyone, cuddiling with jenettes awesome puppy. And me being high off my ass is always a plus. Besides that everything is peachy. Oh wait, no its not. There are tornados in oxnard. well fuck that.
If you are amoung the following people i miss you right now, right now.
Jake McCarty, Ty_ROAR, Mommy, pogs, Sara, Lindsay Lohan. Hannah, Gange, C-low, Pizza, and push pops.
Thank you for you time.
PEACE.
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| I hear crazy music from this computer.... |
[08 Jan 2005|04:13am] |
How you getting home?
Not going home chief...
are you still bummed about sara?
you know it.
Leave that there.
(laughs histaricly)
Leave it.
(Laughs all around)
laughter turning into giggles
and randomly add jay sherman.
histarical giggles.
i love briana.
weow.
pegisuseseseseseses
it smells like sex in ryans room.
dood it does.
best lj entry ever.
ryans room has trip out music.
what the feck.
1456456456456456.
there you go cheif,
dem be yo numbers master.
wait dood, gotta put something in here.
he heh heh
hold on dood
crista had some big boooooooooooooooooobs.
(nick mumbling)
nick had some big boobs. dood wha are you doing dood.
weao.
fucken up richard , your fuckin up.
woew, wow.
papas.
torta.\
TONTO!
PEINYATA.
LIL PINTO!!!! EIY.
chinchioeroro
HE HE HE HEEEEH.
tomas. tomas richard.
laughs.
set the stage nick.
cayasi!
JAY SHERMAN...
warriors = mad scene poinmts!!you blew it\get your e;bpw of me ni ggacpugh cough cought
cacawatah@yahoo.com
oh dood dustins throwen up
feck
oh let me see the warriors
watch this shit.
ryan
watch this lj entry
that was it you guys are crazy
i love you mr brocklesocks
dood his name is dick sangez
dirty sanchez!!!!
like (farting noice)
hee hee hehehehe
Fuck that dood
(beleching)
empty silence.
california
sex
not comfortable
(sets puppy down at door)
matt slams door
boy wont make out with me
hows dustin.
ill get you a pillow.
seriously
huh
even ryan was telling him to do it
and he was all no no no i cant.
are you high
have i asked you that
how many times did i ask you.
do you know what nick said to ryan to somebody to somebody about me.
ryan should rail that chick,
basicly bone me.
jeneete ill make you another drink
yeah this guy told ryan to bone me
i already did,
now that was adam
i know i was disipointed
im a jerk
im sure youll be fantastic
what
a cp move?
haha
what
yes and hes desperatly sad and in love with me
your a fucken horrible bitch
really
does juan like gary
he saw him be an asshole to me.
No i didnt dont tell him that@!
i cant believe you just said that!
(in awe)
hey hey i love you
i gotta go
im gonna stay on the phone with you.
no no.
(Left in sinlence)
_1
__2
___3
____4
_____5
______6
_______7
________8
_________9
__________10
___________11
____________12
_____________13
______________14
_______________15
________________16
_________________17
__________________18
seconds go by
Crazy nik giggle intrupts
what the fecks my sweater at
im all fucked up jesus christ
i didnt know you were here nick
wheres sara at
shugs shoulders
i want you to be un comfortable
is this uncomfortable
im used to guys touching my boobs all the time
dont tell me dat shit.
laughs
he has half my conversation with migul on there
balls
megul?
no.
Migual
no
UGL!
EL!
there! there. good job
are you a certfied typist.
you almost put certyified.
(jargon_ dont understand)
Initial d conversation
wow dood fuck that
he lost 24 outta 4oo
his third in the country and 3rd in the world
we will return after this commercial message...
end fineto!
I lovn life.
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| Choke! |
[29 Dec 2004|06:29pm] |
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Make move |
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Last night was so good yet so gay.
Here goes some highlights because i dont have much time.
+Got to eat pizza and smoke my ass off.
+Got to hang out with JAKE MC!
+Got to eat some good Denny's
+Watching Crazy nick slip, then fall, then proceeded to skid in the biggest puddle of water EVER!
+After witnessing this, i watched crazy nick run straight into a bigger puddle splashing everywhere.
Then some BUNK SHIT HAPPENEND. It went something like this...
-Some fucking kook thinging we were laughing at him. Then him coming over and trying to bullshit thinking
he was gonna do something. TAKE YOUR FUCKING MEDICATION FAT BOY.
-Getting pulled over by la huja getting searched and having to sit outside. In the fucking rain.
But the night got better...
+Cop finding my flask, oh yes, me telling him its mine. And cop not carring.
-/+Crazy nik getting a ticket.
Today, got super fucked up with my boy GOLDED BOY and Dustin. Now im off to the loft.
Come by and hangout.
Other wise all you fucks better be there on the 1st.
The line up consists of, COLD WAR.
thats all you need to know.
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| Misiltoe can be deadly, but a kiss could be even deadlier if you mean it. |
[28 Dec 2004|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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Well, were back from tour. It was fun fucking times let me tell you. But i am glad to be back home. Already caught up on the partying i was missing, and made up for missed time with sara. Now i have the chance to finally update. I guess i have been thinking about a lot of shit. Mostly bad you could say, i miss a lot of friendships i used to have. With people really close to me. Best friends really. I mean, its not like were fighting or anything. It just feels like we dont talk anymore, and this isn't just one person, theres a lot of you out there. Maybe its cause i dont make an effort to call them. Jesus, i hate trying so much. But i cant get over the fact that maybe i could be loosing friends right from under me. I appreciate friendship so much, especially if you in my close group of friends then you know me well. I don't want to loose any of you. Maybe i'ts just a phase. God knows how many phases i went through, fuck. Do any of you remember Milk kills? Damn i was such a re-tard.
"mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it,"
"but a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.."
sorry for getting off topic, but michelle phyper (can't spell) is soo hot in that movie. Either way i feel dumb for not talking about this with most of you. And i know prolly things will get better but thats beside the point. I hate serious posts. How bad could things really be. I could be a cry baby and let EVERYONE and there mother know. But things in reality arn't that bad. I have a lil bit of my health, contra is going great, sara and i are good, and besides that everything if ok. One thing for sure that upsets me though is the holiday season. I could care less if i got anything, but i get so bummed out when i cant buy people stuff. I dont know, i hear people bummed cause they didnt get anything. Maybe im a lame-brain but seriously what do i need that i dont already got? Another thing though, i cant stand christmas music, or malls in decemeber. Wow. The only person that gets me happy and makes me feel like i can keep driving in fucked up traffic, or put up with peoples bullshit, and not care would be frank. yep. Frank Sinatra. I could listen to him for hours, even christmas music, and not care about anything. I always find myself telling me, "whatever happens, happens." I love living like that, no plans or anything. It's a beautiful way of living life. Most of you are prolly wondering what im bitching about, the truth is, i dont know. I dont think any body on here has any idea of what there doing, i guess the sense of talking about what you feel openly with people makes you feel better, well 2005 i got a lot to say, so get ready for it.
"When i look into your eyes,
i find faith in what others never find.
And some how that look about you
makes me shake and wonder how i
could live life with out you..."
In case most of you are wondering where that little segment of lyrics came from there part of lyrics i wrote for one of the new songs i wrote for contra. Be on the look out for new CD's soon. I'll keep this journal updated more so youll know where i am at.
Farewell,
nick
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| Contra's Winter extraviganza! 2004 |
[22 Dec 2004|12:19pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Set your goals |
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Jesus where do i start. I cannot even begin to explain the feeling rushing through my body this morning when i woke up. I suppose i shall start with the night contra played the loft before leaving for tour. The show was good, everyone sent us out with a lot of love. The loft was preety packed in. Even nigga sean came down to say goodbye. When The time to leave came, mad drama started happening, we sorrta had an idea for about who was suppost to go with us and in the end 3 people wanted to come with us. We ended up only taking two and i cannot even begin to express how sorry we are alex that you couldnt come with us. But like we said we got your muthafucking seat reaserved for next tour. So we said out goodbyes and i must of hugged and kissed sara for like 30 minutes. I knew i was gonna miss her a lot on tour. Another big miss on this tour of mine was my brother Jake. Seriosuly jake you are like family, and you not on this tour is like a half of my heart missing. Saying our goodbyes to you were hardest. As we were leaving KEVIN BROOKS realized he had lost his wallet. We drove back to the loft and stayed until 3'0 clock in the morning looking for it. When he finally found it (LAYING IN BRETS FRONT YARD) we made our escape down the fucking 101. Now i dont know if any of you have ever traveled down to oregon but let me tell you the fucking 101 is not the freeway to take. NEVER EVER TAKE THE 101. worst idea ever! Normal drives on average on the I-5 take 15 hours straight shot. This time we took 27 hours. I cant explain what happened except that we were pulled over 3 times, twice by oregon police, and once by washington police. All three times with no ticket. And the band members pulled over were Mr. Kevin brooks and Ryan Mcbrocklesocks. Good Times for sure. Three for three we called it. LOL. Anyway, Driving up the 101 seriously reminds me of the PCH for some reason, but half-way through our journey we realized that we didnt have enough money to make it back. That was right after we found out that uh, you know one of our SHOWS GOT CANCELLED. Yeah, so luckliy gavin being the little scenester that he is got us back on track, Which means we was promoted from roadie to tour manager. hahaha, somebody has to book tours that go through! LOL. FINALLY we reach portland at 5'o clock in the morning a day and three hours after we left the loft! John and i were the only ones up at that point and we had a choice of going up two hours to scotts house (who was nice of enough to give us the offer of staying with him) but we decided not to because davey jone's locker wasnt that far out of portland. Our first night, A friend of our who had done nothing but help us out, her name was Ashley from portland got us a place to stay and food in our stomach, we hung out with some fucking dope ass friends who took us to the mall(where we scoped out fat girls and ryan got bitched out by some little girl for getting on the ice. Her exact words were dont come on the ice again or ill call security on you. She was like 5 years old. haha ryan got told.)And let us use there shower and stay in there house, and didnt ever know us, thank you so much James and Sean, You guys are the fucking man! Thanks for dancing hard and being true bros. When we arrived at Davy jones locker, The place was smaller than pats wherehouse, So increadibly small. There was 30 people and it looked like there was so many people, it was just cause it was so small. When we started playing there was only our friends Sean and James and our roadie DUSTIN and Gavilleberry danceing for us. I guess we were to heavy for these guys. No matter the venue turned out to be really fun. However we left portland we thought that maybe, Contra prolly wouldnt do good on tour. Before we left for seattle john and i stopped at a liquor store that was runned by some asian lady. She yelled at john For not paying immeditly for his beef jerky. I figured that it wasnt it good deal to piss that girl off, Seeing how she had fucking NUN CHUCKS underneath the counter. So john payed the lady and we made way to washington. When i woke up to the van doors opening and the freezing air cut my circulation to my body off almost immeditly. It was below 40 degrees, outside, we stayed in apartment of a friend of gavin, And that is where i were are right now and i am currently typing this from. Her name is Brandy, and she rules for letting us stay here. The next morning, we went to a fred myer's And i stole a shit load of bagels...WITH cream cheese. OOOH YEAH. But then after that we came back the the apartment and feasted. And we left around 6 to play studio 7. Now that night we played marked one of the best days of our lives. I think just walking around the venue, i knew the show was going to be the shit. We played after the band red light murder, who were fucking insane. Then we played and everyone went apeshit! It was great. I got flashbacks of northwest fest. Just kids going nuts. Left and right stage dives and and sing alongs. THATS RIGHT KIDS IN SEATTLE KNEW OUR SONGS. We even saw mr kevin rowe there. A lot of people loved us. when we were done we told everyone about our dilema. And all i have to say is that i love everyone in seattle, im debating on living here. The people here are so nice. Our friend BRICK is sooo dope. He gave us 300$ to get home! I love you brick if you ever read this. The person who runs the venue was named, Big jim. And he was dope as fuck. Big jim is the man. He Knows Marshall from the warriors, there good friends, in fact he taught marshall how to roll ciggerettes and marshall taught mikey how to roll who taught richard ( our bassist) how to roll, and here we are talking to the same guy.He told us how Born from pain wanted to record with him, and how he smoked with wes nightmare. He is my idol by far. Big jim loved us. Oh man, he is the shit, he smoked us all out, we drank with him and Brick, and then we even went bowling and our friends from the show paid for us, we even played ddr. I won, i think i did anyway. and then we got some of the best jay in the bay ever. And i awoke to tell you this story, Im done for now, however i shall tell you this much, our journey is not far from over. I will now tell you some highlights of the trip.
Highlights
+Giant storm trooper on side of road
+Me buying giant propaganda book on Soviet Union
+Playing Mario Party in Van
+42 dollars at jay in bay
+Richards poopy pictures that will never be realised
+Tons of Kids dancing for us
+Hanging out with white mike, and da cock portland verson.
+Bowling at end of show
+Drinking and getting waaay fucked up
+Posi Jumps!
+listening to set your goals while updating this
+Gavin putting up my awesome bro hawk. (with a w)
+Giant Storm trooper (that was so awesome it got a second post)
Downfalls
-No trailer
-Being sick
-staying clean
-pooping
-Bret taking worst shit in bowling alley
-siting on the bench in the van when you wanted to sleep
thats it, ill update again soon,
Much love,
Nick
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